loveto

ToLove

ToLove."

Itimpliesactionandnotanactofpassivity,,itisacommoditysorare

andsodesperatelyneeded.

Sowhatdowemean"tolove."

Ourfirstresponsibility"tolove"overwhoweare,ourtalents,

aretoday,wenecessarilymay

eingmoldedthroughourpains,trialsandcrosstobear.

'ingthatmanypeoplehavetrouble

doing.

Muchifitisduetoourupbringing(,friends,etc.,),mebywhatweliveby

sconstantlylivinginanenvironmentwherebelittlingisthenorm,it'shardmaintaining

confidenceandlfworth,letaloneestablishingthem.

Andwearenotalone.

eClanceinherbook"TheImposterPhenomenon,WhenSuccessMakesYou

FeelLikeAFake,"suggeststhat70percentofsuccessfulpeoplesufferfromtheImposterPhenomenon-a

constantworrythat,althoughadmiredandrespected,theywill,someday,be"foundout."Theyfeelthattheyare

failuresmasqueradingassuccess.

believesthatmorethanhalfthepopulationsuffersfromit-atleast,downin

itssimplestform,itsays"Idon'tlikemylf.I'mnotwhatIshouldbe-andIdoubtifIeverwillbe."

Andaccordingtohermail,thelatecolumnistAnnLandersstatedthereweremillionsofaffluent"failures"andan

equalnumberof"success"whohavenothinginthebank.

Then,howdowelearntoacceptourlves?

anreligionauthorTomHarpurclaimsthatweare

uggeststhatthewayinwhichweconquerour

thefirststepinspiritualandmoralgrowth.

Wesometimesfeelthatwedon'tmeasureuptoGod''sman's

distortionoffaiththathashurtus.

InJudaism,ore,igion

ldTestament,Ecclesiastes7:15-17,we

readthatweshouldbeneithertoogoodnorwicked.

AndaccordingtotheTalmud,abookofwisdomwhichispartoftheJewishfaithstates:"Atjudgmentday,every

manwillhavetogiveaccountforeverythingwhichhemighthaveenjoyedanddidnot."Theproblemariswhen

thegoodthingsaretakentoextreme,tisourfault,notGod's.

EvenintheChristianfaith,gcanparateusfromtheloveofGod.(Romans8:38-39)

Ourcondresponsibility"tolove"cagliainhisbook"Love"writes:"manshalllove

otherstotheextentheloveshimlf.

ErichFromm:"Loveisanactoffaithandwhoeverisof

littlefaith,isalsooflittlelove."

liaadds:"thgue

thatwhodoesnotloveallmensincerelycannotloveevenasinglepersondeeply,sinceallmenareone."

Tolovesomeone,wemusthavetheultimateconcernforthatpersonaddressinghisneeds,

beyondjustmere"lip"someonemeanstogetactively

involvedintheperson'himbecomethepersonthathewasmeanttobebyhumblingourlves

interpretationoftheGoldenRulesumsitupbest:"Treatyourneighbor'slossasyour

lossandyourneighbor'sgainasyourgain."

Sadly,toloveisrarelypracticedandsodesperatelyneeded.

Wecanstartbytryingtohaveabetterunderstandingofone'ssuffering,empathizingwithhispain,walkinginhis

listeningwithasympatheticearandacompassionateheartcanhaveagreathealingeffect.

Ifwehaveministeredtohisneedsandaretheonlyonesbenefitting,ablyhavedonemore

harmthanhelphim.

And"tolove"

maytake

ssteppingoutofour"comfortzone."Butthiscanbedonewithoutpeoplewalkingallover

us-bynotgivingupone'slfrespect.

tenbadonfearsuchasthereligiouszealots

ewhowanttopushtheirviewsdownourthroatsby

playing"rescuer."Theygiveuswhattheythinkweneed,becauithasworkedforthem,notwhatweactually

'smedicineisanotherman'spoison.

AsThomasMertonwrote:"thebeginningofloveistoletthowelovebeperfectlythemlvesandnottwistthem

iweloveonlythereflectionofourlveswefindinthem."

cagliawrites:"nhedoesnot,hefinds

hisalternativeslieinloneliness,destructionanddespair."

Somanytragediesarecaudbypeoples'incurities,fears,lowlfesteem,loneliness,etc.I'mamazedhow

manyofthetragediesthatcouldhavebeenavoidedifsomeonehadreachedoutandpracticedgenuinelove.

Achurchmarqueesumsitup:Lovefailsonlywhenwefailtolove.